I Refuse to Die!

Yes, that’s right, with an exclamation mark…I let my emotions splash on these blogging pages like blood over an artist’s canvas, and that’s precisely what I am going to talk about.

I am a man who has gone through so much pain, at times is unbearable. It is true that many other people have gone through worse than I, but I am speaking for myself. And I am about to open up my heart and speak to you, my beloved reader, and to the world, I live in.

I am not talking about my physical death, although I am terrified of traveling into the unknown when my existence extinguishes forever. I mean…I have been surrounded by many enemies since I remember. It is true that “enemy” is a relative term since it can be an evil one that destroys us physically or psychologically, or it can be a state of mind, or in some instances, we ourselves are our own enemies, which brings to my mind the fact that we are actually our own enemies, but that is another story that I will mention in another blog.

Such enemies have tried to vanquish me for different reasons that many times I haven’t understood, since I am a person that does no harm to anybody, not even to my foes. Some have tried to totally destroy me, others have controlled me in different ways to the brink of my destruction. I have been brought down by them, but I have risen again from such falls, and the latest attempt from them has made me write this blog.

“I can’t take it anymore” is a popular phrase that denotes exasperation from being pushed to our limits, to our threshold, and although 90% of us who exclaim such a phrase end up back into the comfort zone and don’t do anything about it, I can assure I am doing something towards freeing myself from another crushing blow…I am determined to not be brought down AGAIN!

An old enemy has come back to bring me down, but unlike the first time, my spirit is stronger than ever. I learned a couple of things in life: that whoever attacks you, is filled with emptiness and hate. and that in order for us to be happy and succeed, we must plant roses in the gardens of our souls to repel undesirable weeds and, consequently, we attract the beautiful things life has to offer. With this in mind, I am determined to repel its attacks with confidence in a consistent manner and with my most powerful weapon: my positive, happy attitude.

I shall succeed, I shall be victorious, my enemy is not aware of my capabilities, I was a dormant giant, but the awareness and the acknowledgment of who I am, have been decisive in my success in life. What is success, in my own definition? Nothing but be as happy as I can be despite the most adverse circumstances and I am determined to have a strong mentality, one that assures abundance, and I am now releasing such a cornucopia that will sprout much love and happiness in my life.

That’s what I want, as simple as that, and that’s enough to defeat my enemy because now is my turn to be on the other side. Victimhood was in my mentality for too long…no more, Mr. successful and happy guy…

The below photo is me, at 3 years old…since then, I have never given up…I am a tireless warrior that wants to live…forever, because, as I said…

I REFUSE TO DIE!

2021 Qatar International Art Festival

Art…

Where do I begin?

It is the essential core of humanity, even though many claim they’re not artists at all; but you see, there’s art in each and every one of us. Furthermore, art is present everywhere…art in cooking, art in crafts…and art in sports.

Oh, I love football, it’s been my passion since my childhood. I never missed every single world cup. My passion was watching players dominate the ball with such magic, and of course…art. That’s why I believe there’s art in every one of us. Ladies and gentlemen, you have no idea how I wish I’d be in Qatar witnessing next year’s world cup to contemplate the art of football in such stadiums…

But for the time being, the 2021 Qatar Art Festival is taking place, and just like I’m a huge fan of football, I’m a huge fan of art as well. I adore eternal works of art from yesteryear…DaVinci, Michelangelo, El Greco, Picasso…oh how I wish I’d be in Qatar to witness works of art from emerging and promising artists; local, and international. Katara will be bathed in talent.

Art is instilled in our hearts, in our minds. Tyrants or dictators might take away certain parts of our lives, but never the capacity, the ability to foment the art that beats in our hearts. Art lives in our hands, in our fingers, and whether we’re wealthy or impoverished, art roars from within, it’s intrinsic, essential, and allows us to express our natural talents.

I’m quite excited for this date to arrive so that the world can see what these artists are made of, and undoubtedly they’re eager to expose their beauty, their love, their passion, their natural expressions that live within.

Let art be expressed and exposed like a roaring lion, for it must be loosened to devour the world’s hearts and furthermore, awake hidden talents and dormant artists that have succumbed in forgotten fields of beautiful flowers

WELCOME, QATAR INTERNATIONAL ART FESTIVAL 2021!

SPLENDOR

Glory…what is exactly glory?

This term or concept has been used throughout the ages to define maximal ecstasy. As with most terms, this particular term is relative. It contains a variety of connotations…

As human beings, we seek light, joy, power…which take us to summits of our lives…or at least it seems like it when we reach such spiritual altitudes. Yes, glory is a spiritual term, and although it can be concrete; such as a trophy or medal, it denotes victory, celebration, pride, celestial bliss.

Actually, human beings never achieve maximum glory, just like knowledge, because as the Socratic Paradox says: “I only know that I know nothing,” the human spirit always pursues tirelessly seeking for innovative and more powerful forms of glory, it’s innate…it’s undoubtedly essential and basic.

But there’s a special form of glory, which very few of us have been able to discover, and it generates a simple, yet seemingly difficult question: “what is my purpose in life?”

What is life, by the way? I don’t mean in its intrinsic definition: biological or physiological, but as an abstract term: what does it mean to the individual? Another relative term, right?

Throughout my life I’ve come across people who hate their lives, they literally have told me that, I could feel their pain through their voice, and it has a correlation with the question I asked above: “what is my purpose in life?” Needless to say, such people didn’t have their purpose defined: they just eat, sleep, and work…like a vegetable, practically inert. Automatons…

If they only realized their brain has amazing capabilities to transform their lives by being able to answer such simple question….to me, it’s the greatest human tragedy, because from such fallacy all the ailments are generated.

If I wander aimlessly through my life, my body, mind, and spirit will decompose. The Greek philosopher Thales said: “sound mind in sound body.” Such a true quote. If my body is healthy, my mind will be healthy since they’re interconnected. And if I’m unaware of my purpose in life, it’s going to be very hard to love and appreciate my body which consequently will affect my mind. Nobody can give what they don’t have, and if we don’t have a purpose, we can’t share our healthy essence because, as I said, we can’t give what we don’t have. After all, most of us want to be surrounded by healthy, positive, happy people, not bitter, sour, aimless, negative ones. There’s the key. There’s the glory: to be the best we can be because we’re all connected in this marvelous, ingenious, perfect universe and if we’re ill, it creates a chain reaction with disastrous consequences. And how do we become the best we can be? by a simple element: LOVING OURSELVES, which gets developed by having the ultimate purpose in life: SOUND MIND IN SOUND BODY. Our personal glory starts and it’s rooted right there.

Such purpose shall create a beautiful chain reaction: promote, stimulate, and soothe the greater good, which will create a healthy, sound universe, a universe in which we all can delight and enjoy, because we will have created a…

GLORIOUS UNIVERSE

-DP

No description available.

EL HOMBRE EN EL ESPEJO/REFLEJO

THE MAN IN THE MIRROR/REFLECTION

Soy un hombre como cualquier otro…con una diferencia…me busco a mi mismo.

I’m a man like any other one…with a difference…I look for myself.

Me contemplo a mi mismo a traves de meditaciones y reflexiones que me llevan hacia otra dimension…un pasado lleno de aprendizaje.

I contemplate myself through meditations and reflections that take me to another dimension…a past full of learnings.

A traves del tiempo sin saberlo me auto-criticaba de una manera absurda e irracional, arrastrandome injustamente como un muneco de trapo, o acaso como una estatua sin sentimientos ni capacidad de amar. Todo esto ha sido inconscientemente…si…en mi subconciente fomentado por mentiras abstractas y absurdas.

Through time, unknowingly I criticized myself in an absurd and irrational manner, dragging myself unfairly like a raggedy doll, or perhaps like an emotionless and heartless statue. All of this has been subconsciously…yes…in my subconscious fed by absurd and abstract lies.

Ahora me contemplo en el espejo, y con amor visualizo a un hombre distinto, diferente al que ha sido promovido por monstruos…algunos llenos de odio, otros que fueron construidos por las mismas mentiras las cuales ahogan a muchos seres humanos. Me veo con amor, y acaricio mi corazon y me sostengo con fuerza escuchando mi verdad.

I now contemplate myself in the mirror, and lovingly I see a different man, different from the one who has been promoted by monsters…some full of hate, others who were created by the same lies which drown many human beings. I see myself lovingly caressing my heart and I stand strongly listening to my truth.

Lamentarme? Para que? Es un camino que no me llevaria a ningun destino, un absurdo que me acabaria gota a gota. La vida es muy corta, y si bien es cierto que ya no soy un jovencito, el tiempo es relativo, y he decidido vivir el resto de mi vida a plenitud y sin reparo alguno. Cuando me vaya no habra regreso, y entonces mi unica vereda es el camino marcado por las agujas del reloj, que implacablemente marca las horas sin dar segundas oportunidades.

Lamenting? What for? It’s a path which wouldn’t take me to any destination, an absurdity which would destroy me slowly. Life’s too short, and although I’m not a youngster anymore, time is relative, and I’ve decided to live my life plentifully and without qualms. When I leave this world there’s no coming back, and so my only path is the road marked by the clock’s hands, which strike the time mercilessly without giving second chances.

Me aprecio, me quiero a mi mismo, no en una postura narcisista, sino en un autentico carino hacia mi mismo, despues de todo, soy un ser que respira, que duele, que siente, que huele, que escucha, que saborea, que…en fin…tantas caracteristicas que definen a un ser humano…y yo lo soy. Yo valgo mucho, yo soy capaz, yo soy un hombre completo, genuino, autentico, que tengo la capacidad de amar y ser feliz. Nada me detiene, nada me sofoca, nada me apaga…solo yo mismo soy capaz de mutilar todo mi ser. Mi palabra es solo flor, solo amor…solo verdad.

I appreciate myself, I love myself, not in a narcissistic way, but rather in an authentic way; after all, I’m a being that breathes, feels, hurts, listens, savors…that…anyway…so many characteristics that define a human being. And I am one. I am worthy, I am capable, I’m a bold man, genuine, authentic, I have the capacity to love and to be happy. Nothing stops me, nothing suffocates me, nothing shuts me off…only I am capable of mutilating myself. My word is only a flower, only love…only truth.

INSANITY AT FIVE O’CLOCK

They call me insane

What the hell do they know?

I stand at the same station every day at five o’clock waiting for my beloved wife.

A million faces stare at me, judging me…calling me insane…

What the hell do they know?

She promised me she’d be back in April, but so far…nothing…it’s December…but I’ll never give up.

Some whisper at my ear telling me it hasn’t been eight months, but rather eight years…yes…I’ll never give up.

Anomalies occur in this God forsaken train station-homeless people who mumble incoherent, absurd phrases, unbearable odors, and seemingly normal people who are extremely rude…why do they call themselves normal? I don’t have the foggiest idea. But these absurdities don’t matter to me…I have a greater concern…to greet my beloved.

Some of them claim irrational, imbecile theories as to why it’s been eight years and she hasn’t arrived…

…Perhaps her soul departed and awaits for me in another station…in heaven.

…Maybe she ran away with another man.

NONSENSE! They just try to discourage me, but I’ll never give in to such outrageous possibilities, my love for her trespasses the threshold of anybody’s imagination, really…they just don’t know what true love is…

What the hell do they know?

I’ll wait right here as long as I can, who cares if it’s been eight, ten, or one hundred years? Who cares if my hair turns pale and my face reflects roots…some call them disrespectfully wrinkles…after all, I’ve grown roots right here, under my aching feet, but my heart feeds them…with its own dripping blood of love.

A lady, who tried to be kind to me, approached me and assured me that there are many ladies out there who’d love to be with me, but I responded that there might be a million ones out there, but my heart hopes and lives for my beloved wife…it doesn’t see any other one, and that it will wait right here until its last beat, if necessary.

Stubborn? Insane? Irrational? Yes, I am…

What the hell do they know?

The Long Yard to my House

I stand at a pub. Meditating…thinking about my own life. And I love it…

I’m totally alone, having a brew, while I observe smiling faces who share unbeknownst issues to my character. Thinking of a thousand stories to tell as a writer to my fans. Glorifying my lone wolf spirit. Crushing my past demons…it’s not pretty; nonetheless, necessary. I don’t rejoice in my healing process, but rather in the outcome.

I’ve finally realized this life is a battlefield, yet incredibly beautiful. I don’t regret living through the fire of this thing called life. The outcome is precious. Think of it as the molten iron which ends up succumbing to inevitable beauty. It’s a matter of perspective after all, right?

We spend too much time fighting back our miseries, our tragedies. Until we realize we must let go of them and LIVE! That’s the magic of life. To be able to determine what’s our purpose. Is it a paradise, or is it a barren land? Again…a matter of perspective. Just let yourself go…

I want this, or I need that? What’s the key? As for me, it’s what I need, which is…as I said…appreciation of life by looking in the most conspicuous places of my journey. That’s what I need, so I can conquer the summit in its highest altitude.

I’m about to head home. But I harvested a bountiful garden. Roses that never die. Roses that don’t wilt. Roses with precious petals. Yes. I’m very happy about my life. I won’t ever regret it. And the smiles? They seem wonderful. I’m happy those people posses them. And I’m happy that I’m totally alone, heading towards the long yard to my house…

Thank you beautiful life, thank you beautiful people…

-David Padilla

The unknown prisoner

We all know what a prison is

We all know what a prisoner is

However, there’s a prison we’re not aware of…

There’s a prisoner that we’re not aware of…

The real prison, the real prisoner is far worse, far more horrendous than the ones we know…

We possess free will, which is a double-edged sword, it can give us either the power to succeed to unlimited frontiers, or it can sink us into…well…PRISONS

In a physical prison, we can experience freedom, especially if we’re there unfairly. Nothing beats a clean conscience, no guilt, no shame…and that’s priceless. Or if there’s a genuine, heart-felt repentance from transgressions that led us there, we feel renewed, we feel free…in a real, cold, concrete prison. Mostly everything is relative, you see…it’s a state of mind, attitudes, perceptions, interpretations…in other words…abstract concepts are far more powerful than physical matter.

Now…the real prison is precisely an abstract one…and we are real prisoners of such dungeon…

When we are not free in our hearts, in our souls, we are prisoners of such prisons that many times we create abstractly with our decisions, our circumstances, and yes, our mistakes. What does it mean to “be free in our hearts and souls?” It simply means not being chained to obstacles that hinder our abilities to progress, to achieve peace, to be in order within ourselves. And THAT’S the real prison, in which we’re the real prisoners. In spiritual terms it’s called “spiritual blindness.”

A way to free from spiritual blindness is to form a conscience. It’s impossible to have peace without a good, clean conscience, even though many people who hurt others in their minds there’s nothing wrong with what they’re doing…but their hearts and spirits die slowly and painfully…nobody escapes such anomaly…a prison built out of unethical and immoral values. And that’s an unforgiven prison, one that we can’t escape until we release such transgressions against humanity.

It is true…a person can be in jail and feel free…whereas a person can be roaming the streets and be a prisoner of his own aberrations…of his own mistakes…or his own decisions…of his own destiny…and such shackles can only be broken with a peace of heart, a peace of mind.

LONG LIVE FREEDOM!

-DAVID PADILLA

HELL

What comes to your mind when it’s mentioned?

A lake of fire where the most despicable, sinful, and indescribable horrifying souls make it their lair, whose only companions are cruel, ugly, and disfigured demons?

It’s also been said that war is hell…

Hell this, hell that…

Well, allow me, if you will…

A student crashes and gets killed on his/her graduation day…and the relatives…go through…

The only child of a couple gets gravely ill…mortally ill…

A long-awaited pregnancy by a couple finally comes true…only to lose their bearing fruit…(I knew personally somebody who had twins…they lost the boy{they were fraternal twins, boy and girl})…

The love of your life witnesses your fatal mistake…you cheating on her…then you see her running away forever…she never forgives you…don’t you wish you could turn the clock backwards..?

You doctor tells you: “You have 3 months to live…”

A promising sports figure loses his/her limbs…

You get the idea…those are true hells…believe me, you wish you’d witness hell with disgusting demons rather than going through these hellish examples…among others…

So how do we get out of hell, when we come to it?

Sometimes we can’t, we must accept our fate and make the best of our living hell to the best of our abilities…by praying for wisdom, strength, and acceptance of our situations…getting support from others, getting help in any way, shape, or form…just…please…don’t succumb to your personal hell…

Carl Jung said that no tree can grow to heaven unless its roots reach down to hell…

Fortunately or unfortunately, in order to grow in life, we must reach down to the fire of sacrifices so that we can grow to glory…

And believe me, I’m not a guy who sits behind this computer and out of his mind types and composes sentences to create this blog…nope…I’ve been through hell myself…yep…

I perfectly know what I’m talking about…in flesh and blood…

My personal hell?

Through court orders, through the long arm of the law…

I haven’t seen my children for 2 years…you people who have children and adore them, can imagine what it would be like to be in my situation…I’ve cried for many months being consumed by the flames of this hell, not talking to them, not listening to them, not even a single text…that’s not my hell per se…

Really..!

What’s my real hell in this matter?

Thinking of the day when I finally see them(if I ever do) and seeing how their facial features, their physical appearance; if you will, would have changed…

Will I recognize them?

Would they recognize me?

Trust me…I’d much rather be surrounded by a thousand putrid, horrendous demons looking at me constantly than going through the misery of not seeing them

Welcome to my

HELL

-DAVID PADILLA

School Bus Initiative

The focus of our last quarter has been working with local groups to improve bus networks. We believe that it is vital to provide transportation options for children living in rural areas. Thanks to our donors we were able to fund 50 buses and 200 cars that transport children to schools all around the globe.

School Bus Initiative

I love this project because as a kid I hungered for knowledge and I lived at times in rural areas so it was difficult for me to reach out to schools